Oh man, was it windy last night! As I let Cooper out this morning, I saw the snow blowing, gusts going through my backyard, the overturned glass table (fortunately it didn’t break) and the cover of the hot tub stopped by the basketball hoop which fell over. Internally I feel the winds strongly blowing my thoughts around. It isn’t necessarily bad, but it is exhausting and distracting to think, rethink, over think the same situation as I fall asleep and wake up. I can analyze a situation or interaction and see ways to improve and grow as a wife, mom, friend and leader. I make mistakes and can identify what I will do differently next time. I’m pretty hard on myself, but once I make it right, it’s time to get moving. The only way for me to do this is spend time with God in prayer and His Word. After feeding Cooper, I got out my journal and wrote out my prayer:
Dear Father, I need to lay right at the foot of Your throne and say I’m sorry for getting ahead of You and myself, quite frankly. My mind gets going and doesn’t quit then it floods out of my mouth. I didn’t lead my small group well yesterday for our study. I know you forgive me so please get it out of my brain. I will lead rightly next week. Clear my brain so I can hear from You. Teach me about You as I spend time with You in Your Word. I love you! Amen
I spent some time reading Luke 7:23-30, learned about John the Baptist, Jesus and myself.
It’s still windy outside, but not in my mind anymore. Off to continue working on organizing my healthy home and eating.
When I focus on only big things, I miss out on the small joys in my days. I’ve always felt that most of what I did in my profession (middle school teacher and high school dean of students) was very important as it affected students. There was great purpose behind my day to day interactions and I was passionate about it; I still am! When I talk about what I did as a teacher and administrator my face still lights up. I haven’t been able to participate in my profession for two years due to my health. If I didn’t pay attention to the little things in my days, I would lack amazement, joy and God.
I’m reading Jesus 90 Days With the One and Only by Beth Moore. Each day there is a passage of scripture, reflective questions and her insights into the scripture. Yesterday was Luke 7:1-10 where a centurion’s worker was ill and dying, he sent some elders to Jesus to ask Him to come and heal the man. Through an interaction with Jesus that demonstrated this man’s faith, verse 9 says, “Jesus heard this and was amazed at him…” This indicates that God can be pleased with us. I’ve always thought God would be pleased with someone doing ‘big things’ for Him, like a missionary or pastor. There were two questions from Beth Moore: 1. Name something that has pleasantly surprised you lately. What makes amazement one of life’s sheerest joys? 2. How often do you think God is pleased with what He sees in His people?
I was amazed at the beautiful sunrise last Thursday! We had the most beautiful orange/yellow sky as the sun came up. It was absolutely breath-taking! It was surprising to see something so beautiful come through our frigid, snowy, cloudy weather! In the grand scheme, it was something small and routine. The sun has come up every morning during my whole life and I often don’t notice the beauty of it. If I hadn’t been paying attention, I would have missed the joy of seeing beauty in our frigid winter. God is a great God who created us and knows our limitations. He is pleased with His people more than I’ve thought before. We have been given free will so whenever we choose to love Him and others, He is amazed at our hearts. Like a proud Father, He says, “Look at her, she showed love to another.” Any small act within His will or in obedience to Him, pleases the God of the universe. Creating a healthier home through cooking and creating chemical-free products, is a little thing, but it pleases God and makes a difference in the health of some very important people in my life!
“Perhaps you’ve bought into the “wretched worm that I am” mentality enough to be uncomfortable thinking about Christ being impressed by anything wretched man can do. But since we’re attempting to develop God’s taste in us -to love what He loves, hate what He hates, and marvel at what He finds marvelous -perhaps we could all use a little adjustment in our perception of the Divine.” Beth More
In Isaiah 66:2 God spoke these words: “This is the one I esteem (regard with pleasure…have respect): he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at My word.”